If this is all we have...

You walk the edges of my dream –
Mu dusky mist, my dawning steam,
Shipwrecked, soul lost beyond redeem.
I cry no regret,
If it's all I ever get.
I keep you, my keepsake,
For my sake and your sake.

I walk the edges of your mind
In every heartbeat me you find,
Your every thought to me you bind,
Beyond your control,
Under my spell you fall.
And I am your keepsake,
For your sake and my sake.

We walk –
yet our paths never cross,
We long –
yet we are at a loss,
We mourn our paradise lost.
Even if by mistake
Our souls are nemasakes.
So let's have what we have
For as long as we have.

A late night conversation with God...

Is this heavenly math
or me slipped from my Path?
Art Thou having a laugh
or dispensing Thy wrath?
Yet again I am lost –
Bleeding heart on defrost...
God hear me...

Art Thou testing my faith?
Is this simply my fate?
I have taken the bait...
It is ever too late...
Neither hope, nor regret –
I am taking the bet...
God help me...

For already I know
I don’t want to let go...
I can not let you go...
I will not let you go...
You may never be mine –
Still I’m crossing the line...
God forgive me...

And if Death come my way,
He is welcome to stay.
Little strength left to pray...
Little sense to delay,
There's no need to pretend -
For he is my good friend...
God...

A few facts about me

Who am I? Let's go dictionary and see...

Mugger - a robber who takes property by threatening or performing violence on the person who is robbed (usually on the street).

My, my... I'm not that! I'm much worse for I am the one who takes immaterial property, a soul-mugger if you please, the one hovering in the shadows of your smiles and good humor, the one who even loves violently for when I love I take your soul with me. You might never be the same, once touched by my icy fingers. And I am always hungry... for more souls to devour. By the way - another meaning of mugger is crocodile, and you know about those, ugly yet deadly - well, that's just me. And never letting go. And the streets are not the place I lurk, I am there on the very edge of your dreams, touching you gently and yet leaving traces of me in you.
But though deadly I could never hurt the ones I love for even if I would want it I could only hurt myself.

This is me (mugger) - or so it is said in Webster's Online dict (http://www.websters-online-dictionary.org/definition/mugger) - in

Binary Code
01001101 01110101 01100111 01100111 01100101 01110010

ISO 10646
004D 0075 0067 0067 0065 0072

AND, last but not least:
Dancing Men (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1903)



But all this is just a glimmer of me, a tiny fracture of my demented soul...

Splinters of me

Part of me is still hoping
though there is no hope left...
Part of me still awaiting
though no one will come...
Part of me still loves
though no one wants it...

Splintered soul is just frozen -
Even steel melts though stainless
Freezing death may be painless
just like warm autumn slumber
for my days may be numbered.

But your voice is still calling
Even though I am falling
Pale sister,
you
are
holding
still
my last breath
on my hope's windowsill.

You remain just a shimmer
Starry echo to glimmer,
nameless,
graveless,
yet timeless,
pale sister,
my solace.

Faith

Is faith
when the Earth shifts
and yet you grab for the kindlings of trust?

Is faith
when everything's gone and mourned
and yet you reach out for a glimmer of dawn?

Is faith
when you have and hold
and there's nothing to pray for
except for forgiveness
for you're feeling guilty being this happy?

Is faith when you want to water barren
earth with torrents of tears
of those pure in heart?

It may all be so.
But let me tell you, my friend,
Faith is
when you smile once your prayers
are answered but you hate the answer and feel angly and hurt,
but still pledge your soul
and your heart though bleeding
sheds lifegiving rain.

Faith is
when the hour of the wolf struck
but you still saw the candle
burning
if even it was just a glimmer
of faith...

Finding temperance

I'm beyond fear now,
beyond propriety,
Quitting now -
I wouldn't know how,
or where,
or when.
I'm deadlocked
in my
sobriety.

Madness again, and yet all new
And I wish I'd known!
There's no universe -
just you,
and my turbulence
And God is not picking up the phone...

Because my questions are yet to be mouthed
And your answers are there, yet unrevealed.

The truth can't be cancelled,
Because God HAS answered
It's just that my line was busy...

All’s fair in love and war?

Strange as it is I never thought along the path "all’s fair in love and war". Ok, lets hack into this:

1. "The rules of fair play do not apply in love"?
I personally find in love one must be even more considerate, noble and kind, for if one's willing to go to ANY lenghts to GET their beloved, that is not love, not even close. That, my friend, is lust, ego - call it whatever you want, but it has nothing to do with love in its true, pure sense. If and when you truly love you put the interest and happiness of the beloved first, even if this means excruciating pain or even death to you. Because true love is selfless and unconditional. When faced with the question "why do you love him/her?" true lover is puzzled for he/she loves not FOR something but rather INSTEAD of faults, shortcomings and mistakes of their beloved. And once you really love you accept the other person for what he/she is. And you respect him/her, and trust.
I think when one's blessed with that rare gift of unsurpassing love one rises beyond boundaries of self and ego, becoming a better version of him/her-self in every discribable way forever yearning for perfection. Intrigue, rivalry and deceit are abhorrent to true lover's nature.

2. Talking of war.
I think same is very true here - in war one must make room for kindness, generosity and selflessness. One must be noble even when the circumstances might call for savagery. For there's innocent life everywhere. Life is sacred. I stress I'm talking of the lives of the innocent, not those willingly involved in warfare, for once you choose to fallow the path of war you choose to abide by its ugly rules of "kill or be killed" etc. And of course if one's up to defend their freedom, family and home have to sacrifice some of their pacifist principles. But none of this justifies savagery in any case.

And one must always think, think before treading on a life flame of another.
And tread lightly on another's ground.

I wonder, if more people were truly in love would there even be war in the world?